Women's Counseling Network

We provide

relationally focused
psychotherapy and
counseling for
individuals, couples,
families, and groups.

We help with

relationships
health and illness
trauma
stress
depression

Learn about

relationships
stress
health
depression

Abusive Relationships

Abuse in relationships comes in many forms - physical, sexual, and emotional. Name calling and controlling are as abusive as shoving and hitting. All forms of abuse negatively impact self-esteem. The abused person feels as worthless as they are treated. Initially she or he may protest, but over time and experiences the person takes on the feeling of worthlessness.

A cycle of abuse has been identified in which the abused person feels to blame for the abuse. She or he "walks on egg shells" in an attempt to prevent the abuse. But, sooner or later the abuse occurs. The abuser becomes penitent and remorseful after the abusive episode, and he or she vows to change. The abused person believes that the abusive one will change, and the cycle repeats itself.

The issues of shame and self-esteem in the abused person are matched by the issues of shame and dependency in the abusive person. Identifying that abuse in a relationship is not okay, and is even illegal, helps both persons in the relationship. Addressing feelings of shame and of worthlessness are essential.